Phlegm

Have any of you had these winter viruses? I bloody well have. Since before new year I have suffered with the winter vomiting virus which caused me to emit er, stuff from both ends at the same time for a couple of days and then through January and February I have had your regular everyday cold viruses.

As you can imagine 2 months of this left me feeling pretty low but I did start to feel better - for about a day then it hit me.

Nasty, nasty flu type illness rendering me unable to even watch the television and on top of that an infection of the lower lung which they (doctors) are calling Bronchitis. A course of anti-biotics later and the infection is still not gone even though my flu symptoms have subsided.

Now as a result of this I have had to give up smoking, and not just the cigarettes, it's more serious than that, no more weed.

I have been smoking green for about 14 years non stop since I was 14, this new found clean living is great news you might think and I would be inclined to agree with you except it has opened up a whole new can of worms, or rather an old rather rusty one.

You see, I have been (unbeknownst to myself) sedating myself for the last 14 years, surpressing emotional problems that I would rather not deal with concerning the break up of my parents and related follow on issues which I would rather not go into. So where I should be feeling great with my new found clarity of mind I am now just a washed out emotional wreck prone to bursting into tears at the drop of a hat, which is an untenable situation for a 28 year old man to be in.

My lid has flipped and I now plan messy confrontation with the various members of my family who are shortly to find themselves at the wrong end of my lid flipping. I will consider it therapy, they undoubtedly will consider it the height of rudeness. I don't give a monkeys however, they deserve all they are about to get.

Don't panic, i'm not about to commit suicide or anything. I firmly believe that if you have a grievance, being dead is not the way to air it. Much better to be alive and extremely vocal about the whole thing.

Let the noise commence.

Blogging hell.

I tell you what, this blogging lark is an excercise is anger management. Really, why is it so difficult? How do I make my blog appear as if it's worth reading? How do I get get interesting features and not just posts in the narrowest sense?

I have now spent about 2 hours of my precious time trying to figure out why when I change the title or delete a whole entry it creates a new updated page but still keeps the old one aswell, the new one being differentiated from the old one by a singular backslash.

Me thinks this new fangled technology is a pain in the arse. I never had this trouble at primary school when we made primitive communication sysytems from 2 plastic cups and a peice of string.

Oh the privilege of education

Being a ‘mature’ student at the grand old age of 28 and two thirds (ish...maths not being my strong point) I am past sitting silently in seminars and the like and enjoy making my infinitely useful contribution to any debate. I will not and cannot keep it zipped and even if my point is irrelevant or just plain nonsense I cannot restrain myself enough to not express it, that is until the frustrating events of today.

Ian Bradshaw, who is currently hosting my Wednesday seminar at university where I am attempting a History degree, is consistently the most infuriating tosspot that my course fees have the unpleasant job of paying for. The waffle that this man spouts is quite unbelievable. A seminar to my mind involves participation and feedback from the students under the guidance, ys guidance of whoever happens to be the host. But no, not Ian bleedin’ Bradshaw, today was typical of him and I shall explain to you what happened...

The ‘Enlightenment’ is this week’s topic of discussion and amidst all the key stuff associated with it Mr Bradshaw asked the question about evolutionary theories and perceptions of how long the earth had been in existence, something to do with a 4000-year-old world or some such nonsense. So as always I quickly piped up to alert him to the fact that we now have dinosaur bones and dna evidence etc. to support the notion that the world is millions of years old and not thousands of years old as evidence available to ‘enlightenment’ persons would have implied. A valid point I hear you say, and yes I think it is too. Ironically so did Bastardo Bradshaw not that he knew what my point was as he interrupted me midway through my first sentence only to ramble for over 10 minutes eventually ending in him making the very same point as I have just given you. Tosser!

Next up was my point (interrupted again) which was simply that grand names such as ‘The Enlightenment’ and ‘Agricultural Revolution’ for example are in my opinion merely slogans or catchy book titles which historians have used to get their publications to fly off the shelves at double time. Again, I never got to finish this point as midway through the first sentence he did the same as before, eventually getting to make the point even less eloquently (if that is possible) than I was going to. Wanker!

After that I disengaged totally from his seminar, picked up the book that I am currently reading entitled ‘Dear Me’ by Peter Ustinov and proceeded to ignore him for the remainder of his ‘seminar’.

His main other crime, apart from having the appearance of a diseased slug is his ‘Blockbusters’ style questions. Blockbusters was a quiz show hosted by Bob Holness whose student contestants had to join the squares on a grid from one side to t’other by way of answering general knowledge questions starting with preset letters of the alphabet. For example ‘What p is the long (or short) sausage like thingy often referred to as a todger?’ and so on. These questions, often of a highly obscure nature can take up an outrageous amount of time, and accompanied by his other wafflings and ramblings are entirely unhelpful.

I am now totally disillusioned and have nothing constructive to offer you except for these words...SHIT BOLLOCKS FUCK PISS KNOBS!
Thankyou and goodnight.

Bloody crusties

A funny thing happened to me the other day, I was walking past the Falmer building when I happened to pass a young lady who completely blanked me, turned her back on me would you believe. Now admittedly this is nothing unusual as I am hardly stud of the century but let me put this into some sort of context.
This girl, was on her own, the only person in the vicinity apart from my good self and was wearing typical crusty getup; green and black stripy jumper, matted hair and probably (I didn’t look) a pair of DM’s. ‘Her appearance is irrelevant and those words belie a deep prejudice within’ I hear you muttering to yourselves but there is a perfectly good reason why I have given you the despicable impression of my obvious bigotry. It is because I was myself ruthlessly judged by this numbskull who would I’m sure accuse society at large of the very same crime against her and her kind.
You see this charming young lady was operating a table and some pamphlets which had something to do with recycling, something which I in my ‘normal’ apparel would obviously not be interested in, why should I care about the environment I share with the Swampies of this world? Well, I do care and would have appreciated being asked. Your attitude stinks, just like your crusty clothes would if the popular stereotype is to be believed, and I now may be just willing to believe it out of pure spite. And another thing, how, do you hope to make a significant positive change in peoples attitudes if you do not engage with those who may oppose your own views, you already have Swampies vote, you need to campaign for mine you imbecile.
But, I believe there is something bigger and altogether more sinister at work at Sussex Uni; the loony left agenda to upon which we as Sussex students must on pain of death adhere. I cannot walk into or out of the library without there being some sort of socialist worker, anti war or some other rebellious middle class twat trying to recruit people for whatever anti establishment cause it happens to be on any given week. Why I ask do I have to be a Socialist in order to be anti war or care about the environment or poverty, I am concerned by all these things but resent having to join some sort of subversive group which would undoubtedly get me on every MI5 list you could think of. And where is the balance of political representation? Other universities have mainstream political parties present in some form around and about, this is absent at Sussex, heaven forbid any kind of Tory presence which is deemed to be a dirty word round here with an army of Thatcher (stuck in the past) bashers who seem to remember and exaggerate all her ills yet conveniently forget Labours winter of discontent.
All I want is some balance, a real debate perhaps, somewhere for regular dressers and yes, even Tory’s to call home. What is wrong with this place and whats to be done? OK i’ve said it, I await the lynch mob.